Monday, December 31, 2007

I Love My Email part 3 on NFL, Super Bowl

Here's the perfect email for this time of year. Got this one last year but, well, better late than never...
A man had 50 yard line tickets forthe Super Bowl. As he sat down, he>>noticed that the seat next to himwas empty. He asked the man on the> >other side of the empty seat whetheranyone was sitting there. "No," the>>man replied, "The seat is empty.""This is incredible," said the first man. "Who>>in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the>>biggest sporting event in the world,and not use it?" The second man>>replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come>>with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super Bowl we>>haven't been to together since wegot married in 1967." "Oh, I'm sorry to>>hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or>>relative, or even a neighbor totake the seat?" The man shook his head.>>"No, they're all at her funeral."

Here's a quote from http://www.quotationspage.com.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
Eugene McCarthyUS politician (1916 - 2005)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Merry Christmas from Dimensionality

So, here's my Christmas present to all of you. You don't have to spend a lot of money this year after all. I've found some great free resources for you.
For starters, you can send all your Christmas cards for free online. Here's a unique little program from Office Max where you can elf yourself and send the newly made photos as a greeting card. Go ahead and give it a try...
Begin the Elfamorphosis! And while you're at it, send a snowflake to someone... anyone, anywhere. You never have to talk to them again cause you won't even know who they are. It's always snowing somewhere! If Christmas and music are someone's 2 most favorite things in life, try sending them The Jukebox Christmas card! Here's some less elaborate but humorous ones for the sarcastics on your list... Hello Crazy! Now if you really HAVE to send them through the standard US mail, try some free stationary prints from Rainbow Graphics! Never, but never forget our wounded and recovering soldiers on your holiday mailing list. Tell them... " America Supports You! ". You can watch a video here called Christmas in the Trenches! You will never forget them after that. While you're doing some printing anyway, go see Mom's Break! There you will find printable cards, tags, paper, coloring pages for the kids and grandkids, etc. More printable Christams stuff from Activity Village! Like the Victorian look a bit better? Go check out All Things Christmas! They have gift certificates too. Still printing? Get out your iron on transfer paper and get ready to make your own Peace on Earth shirt! Now you can kick back and read some very special letters to Santa from kids like yours and mine at Email Santa!
We all know that December is the absolute worst month of the year for shopping so if you were smart, you would have been doing little bits of this blessed chore throughout the entire year but in the remote chance you did not apply this rule and are completely broke, try some of thes ideas. Here are some good gifts
Kids can Make! Go to E How to learn how to make candy canes for everyone! Enchanted Learning will show you how to make a pinata for all the youngsters to enjoy! One gift for all the little ones... how's that? If I were you, I'd change the monster theme though. You cansearch for more ideas at The Crafter's Community! You could always print out a child's very own coloring book right here at Preschool Coloring Book! They can call Santa for fre HERE!
Planning a party couldn't be simpler with these helpful pages for your viewing pleasure. Build a
Gingerbread House! Preserve it! Make some Gingerbread Baby masks for the kids to go with the houses. Jan Brett is awesome! She will also tell you how to decorate your tree on a shoestring budget! And Crat Ideas will show you how to top it! Now comes the tech part. Watch this video! Is that cool or what? Want to learn how? Go check out Wiki How! Oh, you may need to untangle last year's lights first!
Organise Tips will show you how to
plan your party! You'll need some games of course! Get some more terrific ideas at My Punchbowl! All Recipes will help with the menu! More fun activities at Back Manor! So long as your cable is working you can find a whole lot more at Activity TV but if not just log on here! Keep it all under control. Learn how to avoid family discord!
Homeschooling? Here's some activities for the special students in your life.
Education World!, ABC Teach!, and here's some Christmas History Lessons! This next video from Teacher Tube should show you just how much kids love Christmas and why! Cats love Christmas too! If you have kids in college, spreading around this news article might help improve the holiday for those not coming home to enjoy it with their families. Santa hat could improve campus mood! Take a look at these shots from Reuters to find out more about the hat that makes people happy! And here's a few stories from novice writers as myself. Christmas Miracle! & A Dateless Christmas!
If you still must make some purchases before the big day, might I suggest
Gadgettastic's top ten Geeky Presents! ? And you may be pennywise to read some reviews on the best department stores at Rate It All! There's some other Christmasy things in there to rate and review as well if you like. You can find me by my name in there... Sharon Parry. Put me on your trusted network and I'll make every attempt to make you feel at home there. For Heaven's sake, be more carefull next year and check out The Frugal Shopper's seasonal shopping list!
Here's tow of my most beloved Christmas stories...
A Christmas Carol!, and of course, Gift of the Magi! Here's something for the rappers who love Christmas!
More traditional minded people will prefer these. Nonstop, Christmas medley that would have made me stop for a
breath after the first minute! Olivia sings " Silent Night "! Nothing at all would be complete without a mention of the most watched television Christmas show of all times. Let Linus tell you what Christmas is really all about!
Which brings me soon to a close for this happy season of the year. I have a few comments of my own to make here. Yep,
I won't be buying from Old Navy this year! Thank you to whomever posted that article. I took great pleasure in adding my vote as I do not believe in anyone telling me what I should call something unless it truly IS disgracefull to someone. I have never been known for politically correct and I'm damned proud of it. Christmas IS about the Christ Child although He was not born but rather conceived at this time of year. Yes, I can document that but it's not important to me. Nor will I listen to the so called Christians who tell me I cannot have a Christmas tree in my home casue it's an abomination to The Lord. He calls Himself a Great Fir Tree. I don't worship the tree for goodness sake. How far will some people take things? Obviously there's others who feel the same way I do as THIS article will show you!
Now, I will leave you with my favorite Christmas song... very old but well done and treasured by many,
Bing singing White Christmas! Merry Christmas to all and peace on earth. Sherry

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Here's a History Lesson that's Unforgettable

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Love my Emails : Part 2

This one had me laughing so hard I all but spit out my coffee...
Sundance just posted a great tip on how to give a dog a pill. Reminded me of an email I got with instructions on how to give a cat a pill. A little long, but stay with it!How to give cat a pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouthand gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear pawstightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouthwith right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse off lawnmower.6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink a beer totake taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open anotherbeer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing.Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot of scotch, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.12. Call fire department to retrieve the darn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.13. Tie the little devil's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local petshop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Planet in Peril? Hell Yeah!

While watching the news special on CNN, I also kept up to date on the " in between " news about the California firestorm. At the beginning of this program, said acreage destroyed was at 300,000. Near the end it was over 400,00 and quoted as being the equivelent to twice the size of New York. The recent news briefs were a compliment, for lack of a better word, to the program itself. My commendations to Anderson Cooper who not only assisted in the coverage of both stories but also walked through jungles, swam with elephants and had a blood test taken which revealed more than 100 out of two hundred something toxins tested for in his system. These toxins being potentially dangerous to his health, some were possibly remains of past trips he's taken in order to bring top news stories to us, the general public. Others, unfortunately, could be traced to the 70s when he ate contaminated fish from the Hudson River. As I don't have much respect for news programs which constantly cover the same old stupid stuff over and over again, I have to give credit where credit is due. Oh, the stupid stuff I refer to can be found on ET and I do watch it ocassionaly so am not saying it is a bad thing, just that it doesn't belong as a top story on main news channels where we are interested in finding out what's happening in our world that relates to our general well being. This CNN Special did just that.If the subtitle " Fire, drought and famine " doesn't sound to you like plagues I don't know what would. At the beginning of the program... " action and reaction are equal and opposite and create a ripple effect " or something like that.
Throughout the program I was horrified at the sight of our wildlife being destroyed, our trees cut down, our animals sold for such things as meat, medicine, skins, trophies, soup, jewelry and ashtrays. Many of them never reach their destination alive and are kept in unreasonable conditions up to the point of death. Statistics claim they are disappearing at 1000 times the average rate. Most are stolen from South America and Africa by poachers located throughout South East Asia and distributed through hidden markets in Madascar. It grieves me to the bone when I hear of Americans who are willing to support corruption like this, purchasing an illegally bought tortouise at a cost of 500 dollars or a Russian police officer selling illegal tiger skins. It appals me when I find out that only 10 % of specifically important natural habitats remain and soil collapses at an undescribable volume when 350 square miles of natural forests are lost each year.
Although China has always been known for their extraordinary appetite when it come to exotic wild life, little did I know what they do with it till now. Argghhh! A restaurant in Beijing, China, by the name of " Strength in a Pot " was discovered to be selling so called delicacies such as lamb testacles, tiger penis and tiger paws, the latter which cost the elite of China and it's tourists a whopping 1500 dollars per entree. Of course when asked to see the kitchen and questioned about the legality of the menu items they came up with an excuse and the crew members were not allowed access to the kitchen. Later, other restaurants were filmed at the rear entrances where poachers or middle men were about to unload these goods until they saw the cameras and made a bee line out of there. Most of the tourists who spend money to support this illegal activity are Americans. You bet that angers me. It also groses me out. Why would anyone want to spend a few thousand dollars in another country for a meal that consists of nothing but garbage? The film showed store fronts where thousands of turtles were displayed in crowded aquariums for meat purchase and among other eoddities... jars upon jars of deer tails. Only the elite of this country have access to the profits from this illegal and imoral trade, most of which the labor is done by the poor of the country for roughly a dollar a day and who, incidentally don't even have access to clean drinking water. One of the politicians there was asked if he would drink the water and of course his reply was negative.
Colon cancer is wide spread as is many other food and water contamination related diseases. One woman tells her story of a village she must live in after the death of her husband where she raises her daughter alone. Before his death his doctor told them not to drink the water or eat from the rice patties. With little access to health care and an overwhelming amount of responsibility to uphold, where was she left to go? At thirty years old, this man's life ended and he left this world with only one concern. Who would take care of his family? They call this place " The Cancer Village ". All these weird foods and their uncanny need for the inard parts of animals for use in their unproven medicines among other vanities and traditions is driving wildlife to extinction.
Contrary to popular belief, China is the number 1 consumer of meat and steel and also the largest co2 admitter. And we wonder why we have tainted meats and lead contaminated children's toys in our own markets. The water mentioned above is the same water they are using to irrigate the fields where those imported foods are grown for our consumtion.According to various reports online, Thailand is the poorest country in the world and most will do anything for a living. This is where the buck starts. Fact is they live on an average of a dollar a day. This is the reason for most of the corruption and it is throwing our entire ecosystem off. Cambodia being another of the poacher's havens of the world, a part of the program was dedicated to what is thought to be possibly the last tiger in Bokor. Sadly, he was not found. Estimated number of these tigers left in the world? 5000, if that. While searching for this wild cat, they came across poacher's snares, garbage, and, of all things... empty ciggarette packs. Now if that doesn't beat all. They can't find a proper way to make a living but they can afford to smoke. Solutes to the rangers who patrol those areas for a measley 30 bucks a month. Other points focused on were the meager 2-3 hundred wild elephants remaining in Cambodia and South East Asia.
I had the unexpected pleasure of seeing some of God's most beautiful creatures on this program, including the Day Gecko and the Lemur. I am hopefull the unknown species of lizzard they acquired is considered a new one once it's had examination. Supposedly it makes protecting the area it was found in a more likely happening. Although it would not have been an experience I normally could have to be able to see some of these creatures I am aware of the fact they are not living quite the way God intended in the first place. Is it any wonder that even nature itself screams out for justice? China seems mindless to the issues and in fact officials have said that it's not a priority because there are too many other things they consider more important. With 1.2 billion people, I should think they have a greater responsibility than any other country to make it a priority. That is, if they care about their own people and the health of their nation.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Never too stuck on " politically correct "

I don't even know what to tell you except that I'm getting addicted to RSS now as I do with everything about the internet at first tries. Yeah, my last post was an article I loaded into Blogger from Newsgator which I've been using for a long time now to keep me updated on different subjects. Well, Idecided to finally hit the " blog this " button and after I posted that article, ( it was rather short but humorous ), I decided to make an attempt at creating my own widget for an RSS feed I watch. Well, this is what I came up with for my first attempt at it. As stated in the previous article... I hope it works. If it does then you can expect to watch it from the right side panel as well because I like the idea of picking and choosing what reads I'm interested in and, ( lots of smiles ), I love widgets. But I digress. The thing is that the side bars on your blogs are not suppose to look like mine... that is, messy. Well, I don't care neither! I've never been politically correct in my life. Why should I start now? As a matter of fact I think I'll soon add some more widgets and gadgets over there for other people like me who find them amusing. Grins!!! It's a wonderful life.